The best damn fake tech and social media news ever delivered by a rodent. Seriously. Ever.

How Celebrities Are Using The New iPad

ENTERTAINMENT - Now that the "new" iPad has arrived, and the web is rife with articles and blog posts about the best and worst about it over its predecessors, we ventured out to see how some of the world's most famous are using or planning to use the new devices.

 Lady Gaga - "I got a set of them to use as dinnerware.  I just hope they hold up well in the dishwasher."

Daniel Radcliffe - "The new camera is just great.  The resolution is perfect for making my whiskers actually show up a little now."

Peyton Manning - "The new built-in x-ray is perfect for monitoring my neck's progress.  And don't get me started about the massage attachment.  I'm not kidding - don't get me started."

George Clooney - "Hoping to use it to help my efforts to stop atrocities in sub-Saharan Africa, but let's be honest - I'll probably just play Angry Birds like I did before."

Tiger Woods - "As with previous iPads, I plan to throw them wildly after I miss putts while dropping as many f-bombs as possible.  I mean while playing Tiger Woods PGA Tour of course - not real golf.  I do have SOME class."

Mitt Romney - "I had some friends that own major software companies write me my own iBillionaire app that counts my money for me throughout the day."

Vice President Joe Biden - "I'm really enjoying the new AdultFriendFinder app.  It's a big time saver."

Steve Jobs - We're told by an Apple spokesperson that Mr. Jobs has no plans to use the new device (for obvious reasons).

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post a Comment

DISCLOSURE: The Tech Beaver is satire. As in, “fake, not real, we can’t believe you are actually buying this stuff” satire. Anything here that resembles anyone or anything in the real world is just because of dumb luck – we’re attempting lame humor here. If you fall for it, that is really on you and frankly, your parents should be ashamed.